Perfectionism isn't a Badge

I hear people say, with pride, that they’re perfectionists.

What’s interesting to me about this is that without understanding the limitations of perfectionism, you might think perfectionists hold themselves to high standards and deliver exceptional work, whether building a website or baking a cake.

That sounds pretty good - until you understand what’s underneath.

As a recovered perfectionist, I can tell you this mindset generally results in two outcomes:

1. Holding yourself to a standard so high that taking the first step becomes impossible.
2. Working feverishly to achieve an unattainable standard… immediately.

Either approach leaves the perfectionist feeling unaccomplished and results in quitting or abandoning the project entirely.

Perfectionism isn’t a superpower. Perfectionism is a super-stopper.

Once I realized how my perfectionism was holding me back, I learned to be empowered by my high standards and set realistic goals.

I left behind the false belief that giving up my perfectionist mindset would make me lazy or deliver sloppy or thoughtless work.

I saw the benefits immediately. I was able to begin new projects and see them to the end by giving myself the grace to make improvements as I worked through the project and gained experience and knowledge.

Here’s how to get started making the shift: 

1. Believe in yourself. In my case, I learned to soothe myself at the beginning of each project. I gently spoke to myself, saying things like: “You always produce good work,” “Be patient with yourself; you can do this,” and “Just focus on this part, and when you’re finished, move on.” This helped me with being overwhelmed and giving in to imposter syndrome.
    
2. Get into action. Action quiets the voices, so the sooner you take a step, the quieter the inside of your head will be. Make a short list of three things you can do immediately to get started. Work on them one at a time and then move on. Add the next steps to your list and repeat. Sectioning off the project helps keep you focused and feeling the momentum.
    
3. Celebrate. When you make progress, make it a BIG deal. Tell your supportive friends or spouse, and write about it in your journal. Look at your progress repeatedly and tell yourself how fabulous you are. It might feel silly at first, but there’s a lot of satisfaction to be found in acknowledging progress.

Perfectionism doesn’t stop mistakes from happening. Embracing that they are a natural part of the learning process and asking, “What can I learn from this?” and “How can I improve next time?” will keep your projects moving forward and your mind sharp. It’s a much nicer way to live.